Uptown Notes

People have been tripping over the corruption of the governor of Illinois and his hair. But for some strange reason [...]

Paula Deen is certainly out to create the most ignorant and death riddled food ever… and for some reason we still tune in. Check out the video.

Yesterday Outgoing President George W. Bush gave a speech on the market at the Manhattan Institute, this is probably my [...]

Beneath, are some of my favorite texts, tweets, and statuses that my folks shared with me yesterday (most original, some are not).

“Kunta Kinte shirt? Check! Obama button? Check! Public Enemy’s “Brothas gonna work it out” banging in the ipod? Check! Time to hit the line! YEEEEEAAAAHHH DADDY!!”

“Have we seen the promised land?”

“He looks like me.”

“We did it!! I was moved to tears… it happened in MY lifetime… and though I don’t agree with all his policy, I do see the bigger picture…”

“Change is here! We are the ones we have been waiting for!”

Dear Red States:

If you manage to steal this election too we’ve decided we’re leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss. We get 85% of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families.

You get a bunch of single moms.

So the Biggie movie is almost out and they’re remaking The Last Dragon… I’m scared and excited.

I propose a moratorium on the word swagger. Join me in my quest for depth!

The Daily Show recently did a great segment on GOP/RNC double speak. Some pretty amazing footage in here. Who knew [...]

but I had to share this. A rendition of Anti-Up by Bert and Ernie!